About Me

I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe; I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I water'd it in fears, night & morning with my tears; and I sunned it with my smiles and with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night, till it bore an apple bright; and my foe beheld it shine, and he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole when the night had veil'd the pole: in the morning glad I see my foe outstretch'd beneath the tree

poison tree- william blake

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Saturday, May 2, 2009

Part 3

A few intros I thought were quite alright :))

Yi Tian's
Using quotes
"Failure is the mother of success”. That’s what I always say to myself whenever I lost. It was my 38th time losing in chess! It has been two months since I started playing chess. I have been losing SINCE THEN! The first time I lost, I thought it was just because of the lack of experience. Yet losing so many times, I began to think that it was not the lack of experience that made me lose. It was that I have NO TALENT! Well, that’s nothing for me to be ashamed of since I was always told that I was good at nothing. That’s what I thought too, until one fateful day…

Keane's group
Theirs:
“Push! Push!” the Nurse said. Uncle watched his wife with excitement. After the vigorous pushing, the baby head appear. The baby was then placed in the cart. Uncle jumped for joy like he won a million dollars. Suddenly, she fainted. The doctor and the nurses quickly took the equipments to get ready to operate on the wife. The nurse rushed Uncle to leave the operation room, and he waited outside. He thought about it. He thought of the beautiful memories of them together. He thought of how hard they tried to have this kid. He prayed, hoping that she would survive. He felt that he could not survive without her. After what felt like an eternity, the operation finally ended. The smile on the doctor’s face told uncle the result.

Note: Im curous though... What happens next? I mean, if you have like an actual story in the intro itself, what's going to happen next... If you look carefully, there's an intro, a sequence of events, a climax and a resolution. ALL in AN INTRO!
Keane, enlighten me? Anyways, here my GE-free version

Mine:
“Push! Push!” the Nurse said. Uncle watched his wife with excitement. After the vigorous pushing, the baby's head appeared. The baby was then placed in the cart. Uncle jumped for joy like he had won a million dollars. However, his joy was shortlived.My aunt who was seemingly fine just a while ago had suddenly fainted. The doctor and the nurses quickly took the equipment to get ready to operate on her The nurse rushed Uncle to leave the operation room, and (Excuse me, no comma before an 'and') he waited outside. He thought nervously about his wife who was being operated on. He thought of the beautiful memories of them together. He thought of how hard they tried to have this baby .He prayed, hoping that she would survive. He had a strong feeling that he could not survive without her. After what felt like an eternity, the operation finally ended. The smile on the doctor’s face told uncle the result...